第二节 读后续写（满分25分）
67. 阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。
My next-door neighbor, Pat, hadn't said a friendly word since the day we moved in. Pat lived alone and worked from home, with visits from his teenage son and daughter. I could understand his need for privacy and my family had tried our best not to bother him. However, things got worse that summer morning.
At that time, homeowners in our neighborhood were putting up fences to contain their pets and kids. We offered Pat the opportunity to share the cost of a fence between our yards. He first agreed, but later became unwilling. Finally, we just had the fence put up ourselves.
On that particular morning, I had been gardening out front when Pat threw a large doggy waste from his lawn onto ours. Frustrated, I walked right over and tried to explain, “Our dog is a Chihuahua! There is no way he did that.”
But Pat wouldn’t listen and claimed that our dog did it. “Keep your dog and your kids off my yard, and you get off my yard too,” he shouted.
My frustration turned to anger. I had never been treated with such disrespect by someone, especially a neighbor. I stormed in my front door and called my husband, Kevin, at work. His advice: Stay away from Pat.
And so I did. Pat returned the favor. We tried to avoid any kind of unexpected run-in with each other. Weeks passed in such awkwardness until one morning, when I saw Pat tending vegetables in his yard. Suddenly, I felt a twinge of guilt. I was no more a model neighbor than Pat was! I’d been hurt by his words; maybe he’d been hurt by mine. I felt ready to do something. But how should I take a neighborly step forward? I turned to Kevin for advice, who assured me that an opportunity would present itself if my heart was truly willing.
Then one day, I noticed something moving in the backyard vegetable garden. It was an orange kitten (小猫). I had raised kittens for years and I loved doing it. Nothing melted my heart like a sweet, innocent kitten.
注意：（1）续写词数应为150个左右；
（2）请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Just then, a knock sounded at the front door.
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读后续写范文
Paragraph 1:
Just then, a knock sounded at the front door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see my neighbor Pat — the same Pat who had been avoiding me for weeks. “Sorry to bother you, but have you seen an orange kitten? I lost him this morning,” he said, his voice tight with embarrassment. I nodded and hurried to the backyard. The little kitten was still playing among the vegetables. I picked him up gently and handed him to Pat. As he turned to leave, I took a breath and stopped him. “Pat, I'm sorry about what I said before.” He looked at me, and to my surprise, his shoulders relaxed. “Me too,” he said quietly. The kitten meowed softly in his arms, as if asking us to let go of the past. I smiled and waved goodbye.
Paragraph 2:
After that day, the orange kitten became a regular visitor. Every morning, he would show up at our front door, scratching lightly with his tiny paws. He wandered through our house as if it had always been his home, but I didn't mind. What I cherished was not just his company, but the warmth that had returned between Pat and me. Sometimes Pat would come over to pick him up, and we would exchange a few words — about the weather, the garden, or simply the cat's latest trick. One quiet morning, watching Pat smile as he held the kitten, I felt a deep sense of peace. Kevin was right. When the heart is ready, a small chance can mend what seems broken.
写作思维拆解
第一段逐句分析（学生写作思维）
题目给的第一句：Just then, a knock sounded at the front door.
第1句：When I opened it, I was surprised to see my neighbor Pat — the same Pat who had been avoiding me for weeks.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 敲门声响了，我第一反应是“谁敲门？”
· 前文说我和Pat已经互相躲了好几周，所以绝对不可能是他。
· 因此，当我看到是他时，我的情绪应该是 “惊讶”。
· 为了提醒阅卷老师“我记得前文”，我加了一个同位语：the same Pat who had been avoiding me for weeks。
· 逻辑：开门 → 看到意想不到的人 → 表达惊讶 → 顺便回顾前文关系。
第2句：“Sorry to bother you, but have you seen an orange kitten? I lost him this morning,” he said, his voice tight with embarrassment.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· Pat来了，他必须说点什么。说什么？
· 前文最后一段提到了“我发现了橙色小猫”，所以这个小猫一定是Pat的。
· 因此，Pat是来找猫的。
· 他之前跟我吵架了，现在来求我帮忙，他应该是什么状态？尴尬、不好意思。
· 所以我用his voice tight with embarrassment来表现他的情绪。
· 逻辑：让Pat开口 → 内容必须是找猫（呼应前文）→ 情绪必须是尴尬（因为之前吵过架）。
第3句：I nodded and hurried to the backyard.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 他来找猫，猫在我家后院，我应该立刻去帮他拿。
· 如果我说“你等着，我去拿”，故事就拖沓了。
· 我用hurried（快步走去）表现我没有犹豫、愿意帮忙的态度。
· 逻辑：听到求助 → 立刻行动 → 用动词体现态度。
第4句：The little kitten was still playing among the vegetables.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 前文说我在“backyard vegetable garden”看到小猫，所以这里要呼应前文的场景。
· 用still playing表现小猫很悠闲，不知道外面有人在找它——这有一点小温馨。
· 逻辑：呼应前文场景 + 增加一点生活细节。
第5句：I picked him up gently and handed him to Pat.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 拿到猫了，下一步是还给Pat。
· 加一个gently，表现我喜欢小猫、对它有爱心——这能为后面“小猫常来”埋下伏笔。
· 逻辑：还猫 + 用副词体现人物性格。
第6句：As he turned to leave, I took a breath and stopped him.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 如果Pat拿了猫就走了，故事就结束了，关系没有任何变化。
· 所以我必须在Pat离开之前做点什么。
· 前文说我“felt ready to do something”，现在是时候了。
· 但主动道歉很难，所以我要写一个鼓起勇气的动作：took a breath（深吸一口气）。
· stopped him是实际行动。
· 逻辑：抓住Pat离开前的瞬间 + 用细节表现心理挣扎 + 主动采取行动。
第7句：“Pat, I'm sorry about what I said before.”
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 我叫住他了，我必须说点什么。
· 最直接、最有效的就是道歉。
· 道歉要具体：不是说“对不起”，而是“对不起我之前说的话”。
· 这呼应前文“I'd been hurt by his words; maybe he'd been hurt by mine”。
· 逻辑：主动道歉 → 道歉要具体 → 呼应前文心理活动。
---
第8句：He looked at me, and to my surprise, his shoulders relaxed.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 我道歉了，Pat怎么反应？
· 如果他说“我原谅你”，太直接、太假。
· 我用肢体语言来表现他的变化：shoulders relaxed（肩膀放松了）。
· 肩膀放松 = 他之前是紧张的、防御的，现在放下了。
· to my surprise表现我没想到他会这么快软化。
· 逻辑：用肢体语言代替直接对话 + 体现对方态度的转变。
第9句：“Me too,” he said quietly.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· Pat也应该道歉，但如果他长篇大论就不像他了。
· 前文Pat是个倔强、不善于表达的人，所以简短的两个字更符合人设。
· quietly（轻声地）和他之前“shouted”形成对比，说明他也在放下姿态。
· 逻辑：让对方道歉 + 语言风格符合人物性格 + 用副词体现情绪变化。
第10句：The kitten meowed softly in his arms, as if asking us to let go of the past.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 道歉结束了，怎么收尾？
· 再次利用小猫这个意象。
· 把小猫的叫声拟人化：as if asking us to let go of the past。
· 这样既自然，又把“和解”的主题点了一下，还不显得说教。
· 逻辑：用贯穿全文的“物”来收尾 + 拟人化增加温情 + 轻轻点题。
第11句：I smiled and waved goodbye.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· Pat要走了，我该做什么？
· 微笑、挥手再见——这是最自然的结尾动作。
· 注意：我没有说“我们成了好朋友”，因为关系修复是一个过程，第一段只需要完成“破冰”。
· 逻辑：用日常动作自然收尾 + 不要过度渲染。
第二段逐句分析（学生写作思维）
题目给的第一句：The kitten became a frequent visitor ever since.
第1句：Every morning, he would show up at our front door, scratching lightly with his tiny paws.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 开头说小猫成了常客，我需要具体化“常客”是什么意思。
· Every morning = 时间上的规律。
· scratching lightly with his tiny paws = 动作细节，让画面生动。
· 用would表示过去习惯性的动作。
· 逻辑：把抽象概念（常客）变成具体画面 + 添加细节。
第2句：He wandered through our house as if it had always been his home, but I didn't mind.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 小猫进了我家，我要写它自在的状态。
· as if it had always been his home = 它把这儿当自己家，说明它来得很频繁、很放松。
· but I didn't mind = 我不介意，因为我和Pat已经和好了。
· 这句话暗示了关系的变化。
· 逻辑：写小猫的行为 + 用“我不介意”暗示关系改善。
第3句：What I cherished was not just his company, but the warmth that had returned between Pat and me.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 前两句写了小猫来了，但故事的核心不是小猫，而是邻里关系。
· 所以我必须点明：我在意的不是小猫本身，而是它带来的温暖。
· the warmth that had returned暗示之前有温暖、后来没了、现在回来了。
· 这是从写事转向写心的关键一句。
· 逻辑：点明核心价值 + 从“事”升华到“情”。
第4句：Sometimes Pat would come over to pick him up, and we would exchange a few words — about the weather, the garden, or simply the cat's latest trick.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 光说“温暖回来了”太抽象，我需要具体例子。
· Pat来接猫，我们聊几句——聊什么？天气、花园、猫的新把戏。
· 这些都是无关紧要的日常话题，但恰恰说明关系恢复了正常。
· 之前是“avoid any kind of unexpected run-in”，现在是“exchange a few words”，形成对比。
· 逻辑：用具体细节证明关系改善 + 与前文的“躲避”形成对比。
第5句：One quiet morning, watching Pat smile as he held the kitten, I felt a deep sense of peace.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 前面写了关系的日常状态，现在需要一个情感高点。
· One quiet morning = 用一个安静的时刻来烘托氛围。
· watching Pat smile = Pat的笑容是和解成功的直观证据。
· deep sense of peace = 我内心的感受，比“开心”更深、更平静。
· 这句话是第二段的“情感顶点”。
· 逻辑：营造安静氛围 + 用对方的表情作为证据 + 表达深层内心感受。
第6句：Kevin was right.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 前文丈夫说过“opportunity would present itself if my heart was truly willing”。
· 现在事情圆满解决了，我要回扣这句话。
· 最简单的方式就是：Kevin was right.
· 这告诉阅卷老师：我记得前文，而且我知道怎么呼应。
· 逻辑：回扣前文人物说过的话 + 简洁有力。
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第7句：When the heart is ready, a small chance can mend what seems broken.
学生在写这一句时的思维：
· 光说“Kevin was right”还不够，我要把他的话用自己的话升华一下。
· 丈夫的原话是“机会会出现”，我把它改成一条普适的人生哲理。
· When the heart is ready = 强调内心的意愿是关键。
· a small chance = 小猫的到来就是那个“小机会”。
· mend what seems broken = 修复看似无法修复的关系。
· 这句话是全文的主题句，让作文有“余味”。
· 逻辑：用自己的话升华前文的哲理 + 呼应全文核心事件 + 让结尾有分量。
总结：学生写作的核心思维流程
步骤 问自己的问题
1 这一句的任务是什么？（开门？还猫？道歉？展示变化？）
2 我有没有呼应前文？（人物关系、事件伏笔、场景）
3 我有没有用细节代替概括？（took a breath vs 我鼓起勇气）
4 我有没有用肢体语言/动作表现情绪？（shoulders relaxed）
5 我有没有让每一句都推动故事？（如果删掉这一句，故事还完整吗？）
6 我有没有在合适的地方点题？（不要硬套，要自然融入）
把这个流程记在心里，下次拿到续写题目，一句一句地问自己，您就能写出逻辑清晰、细节丰富的作文了。
